The MS crutch

We quickly discovered after Jenn started telling people that she has MS that others would use MS as crutch for anything that is going on.  For instance, Jenn got a cold.  Just a regular runny nose, cough feel like hot garbage cold.  People would say "it must be the MS causing it".  My response was "no, it's just a cold MS has nothing to do with it".  I found that people would often just jump to the conclusion that MS was the root cause of anything wrong with Jenn.  For the record these are just my observations and since I am not a doctor this should be taken as medical advice in any way.  Do we ever really know all the time if MS has a roll in it?  I don't know.  It certainly can but that also doesn't mean that it always does.

The general lack of education by many about MS leads people to make conclusions.  Part of my goal about blogging about MS is to encourage people to get educated on it.  MS awareness is critical for the MS fighters and their families, friends, employers and so on.  For the number of people with MS the lack of awareness is mind blowing.  I am going to expand on this in greater depth in another blog post.

To me I see the MS crutch as a big deal.  For the MS fighter they must determine early on if they are going use the crutch and put almost everything on MS or use it as an opportunity to educate people.  Because MS is so unpredictable and affects each person differently it would be easy for an MS fighter to say "it's because of my MS" as a crutch for anything that is happening to that person.  Personally, I feel that is a very slippery slop.  By giving themselves an MS "hallpass" to excuse away everything it takes the educational opportunity away and likely takes some of fight out of the MS fighter because it's easy to just blame MS.

Jenn has a very analytic mind.  She uses it with her MS fight.  She has never blamed MS for everything and at times has seemed to go too far the other way in saying that MS had nothing to do with it when it most likely did.  I ask a lot of questions to Jenn about her MS.  If something is going wrong and appears to be more "off" than if I had that issue I ask questions because I do believe that MS is a part of the issue.  It can be a razor thin line at times and sometimes needed to go all the way through it and reflect upon it and to see if we believed that MS had its nasty little hand in it.

I have found it encouraging throughout the years and the many conversations I have had with MS fighters that most do not use their MS as a crutch.  Most of the MS fighters I have talked to really only acknowledge the involvement of MS when the doctor says so.  Which to me says that they are fighting MS so hard that they want to give as little acknowledgement to MS as possible.  I have also met a few that blame MS for everything.  My impression of the people that blame MS for everything is that if they didn't every have MS they would pick something else to blame for everything.  It is just the path they have chosen.  

I feel blessed that Jenn doesn't blame MS for everything and have the "woe is me" attitude.  To me the "woe is me" attitude is giving the MS the power and if you tell your body that you have thrown in the towel the MS will take over. Now, with that said that doesn't mean that MS fighters always have the "I am going kick its butt" attitude.  One of the biggest fights for an MS fighter is depression.  It happens and it will continue to happen.  It happens to Jenn.  She feels guilty when she gets depressed.  I always tell her "it's okay.  Your body is at war against itself and war is hell and there are going to be times that you feel blue". For lack of a better term it's like flushing a toilet.  Your are getting rid of stuff.  

 In closing I know that MS has the ability to "pop up" in so many different ways and at different times and for unknown periods of time.  That is a lot for anyone to deal with.  How you deal with it is a very personal choice and one I hope each person chooses to fight MS and not use it as a crutch for everything.

My MS fighting wife has her own blog that I would encourage you to read.  Her blog is based on her fight with MS and what she experiences in her fight with MS.  You can check it out here www.battlingthemonster.com 

If you have questions or comments that you don't want everyone to see you are always welcome to email them to me at info@msfightclub.com.  

Next post: Who supports you in your MS battle?

Thanks for reading.

-Brent