Holidays + Stress = MS nightmare!

The holidays can be a stressful time.  Worrying about planning, cooking, traveling and even worrying that your favorite uncle is going to end up passed out in the bushes again because he drank too much.  Stress + MS = bad news!  I know for Jenn stress makes her MS pop up to say "hello".  This did happen for her at the holidays.  For a few years I was confident of two things during the holidays.  One, Jenn's dad was going to watch the movie A Christmas Story a minimum of three time and second would be Jenn would get stressed out and her MS would give her troubles because of it.

I have often wondered how the Holiday's have seemingly become way more work and stress than they are enjoyable.  Maybe it's people competing to keep up with relatives or others around them with presents, cooking, decorating or travel.  Whatever it is obvious people get pretty worked up about holidays.  It's sad to me that holidays create this much stress for some.  It's almost like a wedding.  Everyone has to be "performing" at a high level.  It can be a total performance trap.  The real trap is that you can never live up to performance you want.  

A few years ago Jenn was particularly stressed out during the holidays.  Her MS started giving her troubles because of it.  After that holiday season I sat down with her and asked "why do you put so much stress on yourself during the holidays?".  She said "she was concerned that her MS was going to be a focal point and she wanted to do everything she could to mask or redirect it".  I said "It's not the focal point, the stress is murder for your MS and please quit doing it".  

When she made the decision to not stress during the holidays a couple things happened.  She looked forward to them and now enjoyed them.  Her holiday MS flare ups are gone.

Here are some tips I found to help avoid Holiday stress.

Notice the physical signs that you are suffering from stress. Having MS you are likely very aware of how your body is doing.  Some signs are:  Exhaustion - most MS fighters already battle this and trying to go above and beyond your capacity is going to compound it.  It is not something you cab fix with a night of proper sleep. You know the tasks on tasks you volunteer for have consequences, but you are not able to stop!

Notice the mental signs that you are suffering from stress. 

Irritability: Everything irritates you, and you do not know why. Unfortunately, this means you've forgotten to see the charm of your life, and you've started imagining that work's getting harder and your kids more demanding, forgetting the joys and only seeing the hassles.

Lack of resilience: Your boss criticizes one small detail in the paper you have spent months getting ready to free up time for the holiday break. You fall apart, sobbing. She looks at you like you are from outer space, and you begin to think she has a point.

Negative feelings: You are already planning to be disappointed by Christmas dinner or the New Year's party. Every other year has been a washout, so this one will be too. Oh, why even try? you start to wonder. You are setting yourself up for disappointment.

Feeling down, feeling the blues, or depressed: An inability to shake off the blues is a warning sign that stressors are getting to you. This is one step removed from negative feelings, which will also accompany feeling down but may also involved feeling like giving up.

Take a break. 

This time of year can fluster even the most unflappable.  If you are responsible for the majority of holiday preparations and planning you are under a lot of pressure.  Despite the fun moments you sometimes share, it is like your are overloaded.  If you have overlooked your own needs amid this; it is not surprising that you are feeling stressed.  Some of the things you might benefit from include:

Blocking out several hours every few days for rest. This is you-time and it does not involve flipping through magazines planning Christmas lunch or New Year's Eve cocktails. This is time to shut your eyes and put your feet up. Do anything other than what is expected of you.

Treating yourself to a massage or a spa visit. Amid all the chaos, seek some serenity. (Men, you are allowed to go to the spa, too, although manicures or pedicures are strictly optional.)

Taking time out to chat with a friend or two. Share your ideas for making it through the holiday season with greater ease. You might even help one another with babysitting arrangements or sharing tasks.

Visit your place of worship or spiritual spot more often than usual. Take time to pray, meditate or sit in a state of silence and peace. Allow the peacefulness to wash over you and remember the spirit of the season.

Eat well.

Do not devastate your energy levels by starving yourself over the holiday season.  Stay away from sugary, fatty, and unhealthy snacks that can take the place of healthier food.  It is fine to indulge in moderation but do not use it as an excuse to stop eating well.  Changing the way you eat as a reaction to the stress of the holiday season might seem like a way to make you feel better, but this can lead to weight gain. This can cause more stress and hurl you into another vicious cycle and a possible MS flare-up.  Eat three healthy meals a day and keep most of your snacks healthy. Focus especially on vegetables and proteins. Indulging occasionally is fine.  Eating less? Some people respond to stress by not eating altogether. This is hard on the body as well, draining you of much-needed energy. Indeed, you might take in so few calories that you cannot maintain your energy during the day, which is not helpful to your health.

Watch your alcohol intake. 

Alcohol is often relied upon to ease stress during the holidays.  Drinking more than usual and increasing frequency can more often increase stress, cause weight gain and cloud your judgement.

For events such as New Year's Eve, let yourself have a glass or two of the best wine or sparkling drinks instead of drinking to get drunk. You deserve the far better experience.  At the same time, let yourself unwind after a busy day. Have a glass of wine with dinner, or a hot toddy an hour or two before bed. If it helps you unwind, go for it.

Stop imagining that the holiday season is about being "perfect". 

A lot of stress you put yourself through comes from trying to match the perfect standard shown in magazines, TV, and other media. Marking professionals use perfection in images to create intrigue and demand not reality.  Don't pin your happiness on the success of your holidays. Your happiness should be bigger than just the holidays. Be thankful for the family that you do have, the opportunities you have been given, and the future you can look forward to. Put things into perspective.  Strive to perfect some duties and expectations, but don't expect perfection. Your polar bear cookies might be misshapen, and your chicken overcooked, but it is the thought that count.  This is where delegation is vital; delegation means shared responsibility for how everything turns out. Seek out help where necessary. This means letting go of some of your control, which is a great thing.

For Jenn and I our focus at Christmas is the birth of Jesus.  With this focus we are at peace and enjoy our time together with family and friends.  We hope you can too.

Next post: Do you have Hope or Faith for an MS cure?

Thanks for reading.

-Brent

Reject Defeat